I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
