Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
