Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
