Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
