How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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