I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
