Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He? As in you personified your dick?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
