I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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