um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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