i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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