Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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