I'm sorry my penis didn't work
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Randomize
