Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
