Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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