a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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