Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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