There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
The power of my boobs compel you
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
