also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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