I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
