A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
