Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
