She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
