I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Randomize
