It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
