It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize