Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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