your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
