need another drink. this is the easiest way
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize