i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
