Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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