You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
