capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
