i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
