Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
