Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.

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(606): View more from Kentucky

This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Cops are just so fun an beautifuk

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(919): View more from North Carolina

It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...

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(434): View more from Virginia

After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

He's on the porch naked. Help.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco

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