im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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