She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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