You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
