were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
