Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
