im six kinds of drunk right now
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
