It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
