for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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