i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
