Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
