I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
