Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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