I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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