Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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