You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
