Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
In other news, I just burned my penis
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
