I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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