Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
