Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
