when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize