He is such a slut. More and more my type.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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