lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
you had me at cake vodka
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
