The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
