why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
