Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
