I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
