My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
